Panty-national: The beginning

Naming is one of the most difficult things. We never think about it. But think about it.

A lot of you have been producing kids left, right and centre. You can’t just name your kid anything. Imagine calling someone that. Anything.

“Do you want anything?” or “Do you want Anything?” would mean two different things! So much confusion.

A lot of businesses have failed because they got the wrong name.

The latest one to go down the drain (almost) is Mysore Pak (a famous sweet…oops sorry.. I meant bitter.. from Mysore). Apparently, it’s now calling itself Mysore Halwa. Good job!

But what would have just blown it better would be Mysore Hind. In this day and age, nothing could better that. But beware! Don’t get the pronunciation wrong. Otherwise, you will get it there.

Sorry for digressing again. It just seems like the season for digressions. Everyone seems to be doing that. You start with head, you end in somebody’s hind. If you don’t know what I mean, try watching news debates on current affairs. The host talks today, the guests respond yesterday; or, host talks yesterday, guests respond today. Yeah, you get it; you’re not dumb.

Coming back to naming. I have had multiple problems with naming. Like naming my dogs. But I am glad we did well, me and my friends, at least in dog namakaran (Not my family though. Terrible names we gave our dogs at home). But business is something completely different. I haven’t been able to start so many enterprises because I never got beyond the attempts to name them!

This blog too would have been another non-starter, just because of the lack of the right name. But this time, I was not alone. 1 billion people helped me!

The first good idea that smacked me on the head when I seriously started thinking about blogging a few months ago, was ‘spread the word’. Unfortunately, like with most good ideas, I was too late. I would have loved to blog about ‘spread the legs’ but that would have been heavily censored. It would not be fun if it became ‘spread the beep’ now would it?

I was lost. I searched and searched (*dramatically) until I found the most popular word doing the round these days. Yes, you got it, you Anti-national fellow. And it’s to you and all those who named you that, that I credit this discovery to. So a BIG THANK YOU TO MY BILLION FRIENDS!

[There is in fact a short history here. I actually wanted to name it Aunty-national. But that just sounded like a Mallu anti-national. Apologies for the slang, but I like calling my Mallu friends Mallus. Like I am called Kancha or Bahadur or Babaji or Ching Chang. But not with hate. Moreover, aunty-national went against my masculinism. Then I thought and thought (*more dramatically), and finally found it!]

Panty-national is born!

So ‘panty-national’ will de-panty everything I want to talk about – serious issues, anti-serious issues, stupid issues, etc etc. About the earth, it’s environment, it’s protectors, it’s destroyers, about people and stories that inspire me, or not, and about general people I meet during my travels.. through text, images, videos, music, and any other forms of creation.

Except babies, which I don’t think I will have. I would like it if you didn’t too as there are too many already, but I am not judging. I know, everybody needs to create something. Because the Creator made us in her own form, and gave us the ability to create.

Only if you can’t create anything else, create babies. Just don’t name them anything; and definitely not Anything.

1. I will not be regular. I am unemployed. I am travelling. Internet connectivity is not always good. Maybe I am de-pantying my girl.

2. I will make grammatical errors. I will create new words. I will write how I please.

3. I do not mean to offend anyone or fend off anything. Please avoid and ignore me, if you don’t like what I write. You have a choice, I don’t.

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